NEVER MESS WITH SEEMINGLY INNOCENT NEWTS!
by KickaMario
Summary: The sequel to the Meeting of Mario, so read that first. In this episode, Yoshi gets over-ambitious when watching TV, and for the first time ever we get to see Mario's weapon! NOTE:Not as much Furbys as last time!


NEVER MESS WITH SEXY NEWTS  
  
Written by:Kicka**mario and KillerOddish  
  
Disclaimer: DOES ANYONE CARE WHO OWNS MARIO? Ok, what I meant was that I don't own Mario, Yoshi, Toad, Peach, Furby and Furby babies. Everyone else (except for Ash Ketchum and Misty, who will appear in later fanfics) are fictional characters that me and KillerOddish made up.  
  
After accidentally foiling Peach's evil plan to destroy him, Mario went down to Mcdonald's and got a Big Mac, Yoshi got a Crappy Meal and Toad got a blow from Mario's red, so-called 'Beating Stick.'   
"I carry it for hitting people like you, Toad," said Mario. The waiter came up to them.  
"Uh, that'll be $60 sir," he said. Mario attacked him with the beating stick.  
  
So there they were, back at Mansion de Mario. Mario was smoking a huge cigar, Toad was complaining that his soda wouldn't come out of the machine (because he forgot to put in the money) and Yoshi was watching a David Attenborough nature show. Actually he wasn't really, he was actually watching an episode of South Park that had a nature theme.  
"This is a crocodile, an' I'm gonna stick my thumb up 'is bum 'ole!" said the nature man. "Aw crap, 'e's bit me! The dir'y b**t**d!"  
"Yeesh," said Yoshi.  
"Now 'ere's a lizard, an' I'm gonna shove my thumb up 'is bum 'ole!" said the nature man. "Ah ****! It's stuck!"  
"Hey Mario, do you think I'm a lizard?" said Yoshi.  
"Yoshi, why the **** would I think you were a lizard? Besides, I don't know what lizards look like," said Mario.  
"And if you want to catch yer own animal, the bes' tah catch are newts," said the nature man.  
"That's what I'll do! I'll catch a newt! They're just like lizards!" said Yoshi, and he ran outside, leaving the TV on.  
  
"Here newt, here newt!" said Yoshi, holding a net ready to catch a newt. Suddenly, a warp pipe opened and a newt came out.  
"Heh, just let the victim come to you!" said Yoshi, approaching the newt. Suddenly the newt turned round.  
"Hey, I'm not stupid!" said the newt, and bit Yoshi.  
Back at Mansion de Mario, the TV was still on. "And before we go, remember to stay away from this species of newt!" said the nature guy. A picture of the newt that was biting Yoshi was on. "It is very poisonous!"  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! THE LITTLE ******* POISONED ME!" yelled Yoshi. The newt was still holding on by his teeth. Yoshi flung him round and he ran into the grass. Mario came out, holding his beating stick. "Hmmm a poisonous newt," said Mario.  
"FOR **** SAKE WE KNOW IT'S A POISONOUS NEWT! NOW HELP GET RID OF THIS POISON!" yelled Yoshi.  
"Did someone say a poisonous boot?" said Toad.  
"Hmmmm...looks like we'll need this..." said Mario, taking out an injection and sticking it into Yoshi's shoulder. "That's removed the poison. Now we have to find someone to transfer it to..."  
  
Logically, as this story is so predictable, Kanga came bouncing along. Quickly Mario shoved the poison into her body. "Uhhhh...help me..." said Kanga. "Oh dear God, I think my eyesight's gone..." Mario took out his beating stick "And don't tell anyone what happened!" said Mario, hitting Kanga all the way back to Peach's castle.  
"Um, what happened?" asked Peach. "Mario hit me with his beating stick and he poisoned me!" said Kanga. "YOU ****ING B**CH!" yelled Mario.  
"Ok, so what are we going to do about the burger bar?" said Furby. "Well, if the building society still think I'm working, and they're still paying me, then it doesn't matter, does it?" said Peach.  
  
"Hey Mario, could I borrow your beating stick" said Yoshi. "NEVAR!" said Mario. "But, I do have a spare one you can keep..."  
Back outside, Yoshi found the newt. "You're not getting away this time, Newt boy!" said Yoshi, holding a blue beating stick. "THE NAME IS NEWTY!" said the newt, grabbing the beating stick with his tail and throwing it at Toad.  
Yoshi was trapped. Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. Then he remembered back to South Park...  
  
Quickly, Yoshi jumped over Newty and put his thumb up his ***.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Newty. Yoshi picked him up and took him inside.  
"Hmmm...you caught a poisonous newt. It may be...useful..." said Mario. "Don't kill me!" said Newty. "I have a wife and child!"  
"A wife and child...are they, by any chance, good fighters?" said Mario.  
"Oh yeah! My son Stretch, boy, he's so long he strangles people! And Spiny-she fires darts out of her spines!" "Hmmmm..." said Mario.  
  
Later that night, Mario introduced his new teamates-Newty, Stretch and Spiny.  
"No hard feelings, Newty?" said Yoshi. "Hmmmm...ok," said Newty. "Esscuse me, but you're shtandink on my tongue!" said Stretch. "Don't worry, he's got a disease and he can't put his tongue in his mouth," said Spiny.  
"Hey, where's the new frogs?" said Toad. "Toad, first of all, they're newt's, and secondly, you're sitting on them." said Mario.  
THE END!  
  
Playing Stretch was-A PENCIL!  
Playing Spiny was-SPINY!  
Playing Newty was-THE NATURE GUY!  
Playing Toad was-A VERY, VERY HEAVY MUSHROOM!  
Playing Furby was-SEAN CONNERY!  
Playing Kanga was-DOES ANYONE CARE?  
Playing Peach was the guest star-BRITNEY SPEARS!  
Playing Mace was-WAIT, MACE WASN'T IN THIS!  
Playing Yoshi was-YOSHI!  
Playing the lizard was-LOOK, DO I HAVE TO GO INTO THIS MUCH DETAIL?  
Playing Nature Guy was-NEWTY! HEY, SHOULDN'T THAT BE THE OTHER WAY ROUND?  
Playing Mario was-WARIO!  
  
Note:I HATE BRITANY SPEARS! And also, do you care whether the new characters have no relation to Mario? Because I don't. 


End file.
